How to make motel ‘continental breakfast’ waffles.

We stay at the cheapest of the cheap motels when we’re not camping. A La Quinta is a very, very rare splurge — they’re too pricey. A Marriott? A Hilton? Can’t do it.

The places we end up at tend to be around $40 a night, and they all have free waffles at breakfast. For a while, I just figured it was a few of the chains that offered these, but, no, EVERY cheap motel has a waffle-maker. I’ve been terrified of all of them — the potential of scorching the thing and setting off the fire alarms, under-cooking the waffle and having it spurt warm and uncooked dough down my chin, etc. But you can only hold out so long. The siren call of the waffle is too alluring. Here’s how to make them pro-style. It’s easy peasy.

Step 1: Measure the goo … er, dough.

These machines are all perfectly calibrated to the same unit of dough measure — the small styr0foam coffee cup measure. Fill one of these to the bottom of the lip and you’ll have the perfect amount of alien mucus to make your waffle.

Step 2: Pour it on!

The waffle machine should have been left open for you. Just pour it into the center and proceed to step 3.

Step 3: Close and flip.

This is where you probably want to act quickly. Close the lid and flip the waffle-maker to ensure the dough fills both sides of the iron. Some may dribble out the sides. Don’t worry about that — this isn’t your kitchen and you don’t need to do the dishes!

Step 4: Extract after the beep.

Wait for the beep. It’ll beep. I promise. It won’t burn. It just takes a couple minutes — usually about 3. Extraction is where you can add your own creative flourishes. Some do an open lid, close-and-flip, open again flip move. I just reach in and grab the thing and slide it onto a plate. Others try to spear it with a fork. You just need to be careful about the hot surfaces. You’re probably wielding a plastic fork and holding a plastic plate. Both really, really want to melt. Don’t let them!

Step 5: Top and eat.

I like a little syrup and a little butter. Sometimes I get creative and add a little strawberry jelly. Someday I’ll run over to the KFC across the street and top it with some fried chicken. That morning is going to be awesome.