Let’s Do Lunch, Moab

Let’s Do Lunch, Moab

Moab and I are in an “it’s complicated” relationship. I put the city on a pedestal growing up because of the mountain bike scene, the Slickrock Trail. I didn’t visit the town until 2009, right after Durango. Durango was great. Moab didn’t really do it for me. The way the town sprawls along the highway, the way it caters more to cars than pedestrians, the ATV / 4-wheeler / 2-stroke engine scene … it wasn’t what I expected. Not to mention the 3.2 beer.

Visiting again, I decided to give it another shot. Maybe I’d missed something because Durango was still so fresh in my mind. I’ve been to more towns in Utah since and realized that I’d need to adjust the barometer, grade on a curve. We’d work it out, Moab and me. We’d start with lunch.

Love Muffin Cafe

The Love Muffin Cafe is located right in the downtown area of Moab. It’s along the main drag (everything is). We arrived a bit before noon, so we ordered breakfast burritos for lunch. They were great. Mine had brisket, eggs, and avocado. Lisa’s had shredded pork, eggs, and pico de gallo. Delicious. I have a cup of coffee — wonderful too. Lisa had tea — it was tasty as well. Moab, you scored a point. We even returned two more times for morning coffee — the prices were great.

But things would worsen.

Paradox Pizza

After spending the morning at the wonderful Moab library, we were peckish. Peckish for pizza. Luckily, Moab has what sounds like a wonderful pizza place, Paradox Pizza. Unluckily, it’s not open until 3PM. 3PM? Lupper-time? What the hell, Paradox. No lunch? Since we drive all the way over there (located on the main street, of course, just south of the downtown), we decided to stay close for try two.

The Moab Brewery

Well, how about a beer instead? Sounds great! Too bad about the pizza, but this could still work out. The Moab Brewery shares the same parking lot as Paradox Pizza. Hell, most of the town shares the same parking lot — it runs nearly the entire length of the main street, Highway 191.

Anyway, we go into the place, it’s quiet because it’s a bit after 1PM now, we’re shown to a table, given menus, given tokens for $1 off at the swag store, then … nothing. Nothing at all. Nobody takes our order. Nobody says they’ll be right with us. Nobody gives us a glass of water. Nothing happens at all. We wait 10, maybe 15 minutes, get up, and leave. The too-big menu screamed Sysco freezer food anyway. No big loss.

Milt’s Stop and Eat

The last time we were in Moab, we ate at Milt’s too. We had Paradox Pizza too, full disclosure. Milt’s is fine — Lisa had a good-tasting burger. I had a yummy “Chicago-style” hot dog. Our fries were continuously forgotten about and showed up finally as we were finishing our other food, limp and greasy as if they’d only been par-cooked in the oil and needed another dunk (the waitress offered a free shake to make up for the fries but we passed, feeling overstuffed already). The guy at the table next to ours complained his burger was under-done. Then complained the second one was over-done. He was a little bitch, so we can’t really hold that against the place.

Lunch was fine. Moab is fine. Sigh.