Paul’s / Steve Martin’s Holiday Wish(es)

27 Nov
2012
Posted in: Reality
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If I had one wish that I could wish this holiday season, it would be for all the children of the world to join hands and sing together in the spirit of harmony and peace.

If I had two wishes that I could wish for this holiday season, the first would be for all the children of the world to join hands and sing in the spirit of harmony and peace. The second would be for a Roku HD Streaming Player, and the ability to watch something other than Fox 68, the only over-the-air TV station our antenna pulls in.

If I had three wishes that I could wish for this holiday season, the first would be the children singing. The second would be the Roku couch potato tool. And the third would be for every product featured in the Google Play store — the Nexus 7, Nexus 4, Nexus 10, Samsung Chromebook, and Acer Cromebook — all connected via Kansas City-style Google Fiber internet service, delivered to our home in Trumansburg. I’ll sell whatever ones I don’t love on eBay for gas money, and Lisa and I will head to Vermont for a winter adventure.

If I had four wishes that I could wish for this holiday season, the first would be the crap about the kids, then the Roku lazy device. The third would be the Google gear, and the fourth would be for a Fiat 500 Abarth with its turbocharged engine, sport-tuned suspension, performance aluminum wheels, and six-speaker Beats Audio stereo, maybe the one that 1-800-POSTCARDS is giving away. I entered. You should too … for us. We’d jump right into those leather seats and head west to Tucson to re-drive the road up Mount Lemmon.

And if I had five wishes that I could wish for this holiday season. First the stupid kids, then the Roku gizmo, then the Google junk. The fourth would be the free Fiat 500. The fifth would be for Wednesday’s Powerball jackpot, $425,000,000, the largest jackpot in the history of the game. I’ll use it to buy Lisa the entire St. Joseph peninsula and me one million oysters from Indian Pass Raw Bar. I bought a ticket on Sunday. Your move, Santa.