Utah has the worst drivers.

Utah has the worst drivers.

In New York, people think they’re the center of the universe and they drive like it. They’re going to make it, be big, rock the town. It’s the Big Apple the Empire State, all that shit. In Southern California, drivers are narcissistic cell phone users 

Salt Lake City, Our Last Stop in Utah

Salt Lake City, Our Last Stop in Utah

I’m trying to be positive about Salt Lake City (SLC), but Utah is wearing me down. I’m tired of this state, of its rules, of its righteousness. I’m ready to leave. I don’t like being surrounded by people who think I’m going to go to 

I Testify that Provo Sucks

I Testify that Provo Sucks

There’s a guy following me. He’s got closely-cropped, sandy blond hair, light acne. He’s fair skinned. He’s stopped next to us at a light driving the car next to us. Then I see him bike across the road in front of us. At the library 

A Photo Tour of Green River, UT

A Photo Tour of Green River, UT

Green River, UT is not a walkable city. We toured by car and got a bunch of crappy photos of this interesting place.

Ray’s Tavern, Green River, Utah.

Ray’s Tavern, Green River, Utah.

We found great burgers in Roswell, New Mexico … eons ago. Then we missed the good burger place by Capitol Reef. We struck out in Blanding, then Moab. We were, in short, hungry for something good, and we were headed to Green River, Utah (population 900). Well 

Desert Sky Blue

Desert Sky Blue

My theory is that it’s the lack of water and the excess of dust that does it. The sky is just a different color out here — deeper, darker, richer. It’s tough to photograph, but I’ve tried. It could also be dehydration of the eyeballs. 

Highlights from Arches National Park — The Fiery Furnaces and Delicate Arch

Highlights from Arches National Park — The Fiery Furnaces and Delicate Arch

After a few visits, we’d exhausted all there is to do in Arches National Park, but since we were in the area, we couldn’t resist stopping again for a scramble around the Fiery Furnaces and a Delicate Arch revisit. Hiking in the Fiery Furnaces is 

The Worst Bathroom in the US is in Moab, UT!

The Worst Bathroom in the US is in Moab, UT!

I know you’ve all been patiently awaiting the results of the worst bathroom in the US competition. I’m pleased to announce that, after months of careful analysis, we finally have a winner! The award for the worst bathroom in the entire United States of America* 

Let’s Do Lunch, Moab

Let’s Do Lunch, Moab

Moab and I are in an “it’s complicated” relationship. I put the city on a pedestal growing up because of the mountain bike scene, the Slickrock Trail. I didn’t visit the town until 2009, right after Durango. Durango was great. Moab didn’t really do it for me. 

John Wesley Powell and Canyonlands National Park

John Wesley Powell and Canyonlands National Park

We went to a ranger program in Canyonlands about John Wesley Powell. Cool guy. In 1869, Powell left Green River, Utah and rafted into the unknown. The area was a big empty spot on every map at the time. They knew two rivers entered the 

Hiking and Camping in Canyonlands National Park’s Needles District

Hiking and Camping in Canyonlands National Park’s Needles District

A typical visit to Canyonlands National Park is like a typical visit to the Grand Canyon: drive up, get out of car, stand on rim, look in, get in car, drive away. Nothing wrong with that, but I wanted to get into the land of 

I Love Utah State Liquor Stores

I Love Utah State Liquor Stores

After passing through Blanding for a burger (they were a bit bland, fittingly, and the place was run by an annoying group of teens and one competent young woman who I wanted to shake and order to flee the shit-hole before getting stuck there forever), we stopped